the long busy Sunday..

Since I have started working again, I get up late like 10 or 11 am. However, yesterday, Sunday, I woke up at 7 am and had quick breakfast and meet Ed at around 8 am. He picked me up at Yonge&Sheppard where I live. We planned to skate 80k with Jay.
When we got to Hamilton beach path, Jay was already there and a couple of minitues later, we saw Scott and Eric. While many skaters were in Duluth, I didn't expect we could see other skater folks there. It was nice to skate with more people. We put skates on and started skating after chatting a bit. Honestly, I had not skated for the last 10 days for some reasons, I felt like I was so weak and out of shape. If I am out of shape, my right leg is always troublesome. I can't support myself when I setdown with my right leg. Two laps of skating on the path was O.K. but I couldn't pull as much as Scott and Ed did, though, They did a great deal of work. After skating on the path, Ed, Jay and I got out of the path and started skating on the road. Scott, Beth and Eric were with us for a couple of km's. When they turned around and I wanted to tell Ed I couldn't skate any more but I just kept going I thought I could manage to finish 80k, but shortly after, I started feeling I couldn't support myself with my right leg. So, I had to tell Ed and Jay that I needed a rest. Because of me, we stopped skating and turned around. It was a bit early than we planned. I felt sorry about it. On the way back to the path, I got a bit better but still uncomfortable pushing with my right leg. Ed and Jay pulled me all the way back there so thankfully I got back to the path without any mishaps, Thanks guys. Ed and Jay skated again to complete their goal, 80k of skating. Meanwhile I took my skates off and got changed and lie down on the bench and enjoyed the weather. The breeze was so good, that was the moment of happiness for me. Even though, I had a bit hard time to skate but I skated with my nice friends and laying down and enjoying the weather. I don't remember when was the last time I felt that kind of feeling. I gave a hi-five to Ed and Jay when they finished their skating. Good job guys~.
We had lunch at Lick's which is my favorite hamberger place, I love the hamberger there. Every time I go there with Ed, he buys me a hamberger, he has a buy one get one card. It's so nice of him. I bought Ed a french fries instead, hehe.

Anyway, I learned lesson from yesterday's skating. I will keep in mind that lesson.

Jay dropped me off at Islington subway station which is close to his place. Thank you Jay, and I headed downtown. I met Shery who came here four months ago from China.
She has a very interesting background. She is a Korean Chinese Canadian will be(make sense?). She's from the area in China where many Korean people live called Yeonbyun.
A hundred years ago when Japan invaded Korea, they forced some people to move to that area. I don't know exactly why( I need to learn more about Korean history ). So, she speaks Korean with her mom and also speaks Chinese, as well and she said she studied Japanese in school. So, she speaks Japanese, too. But, I don't know how fluent her Japanese is. Anyway, she goes to high school now which she said is very overwhelming and stressful because her English is not enough to keep up her study in school.
A couple of days ago, she asked me to teach her English which is very funny to me.
What she said, basically, is she can't take tutoring from Canadian because she can't understand what they say, so she needs Korean English tutor so that she can study English in Korean. Gee, I never thought about that I teach English here. I couldn't say yes or no. I just promised that I would meet her. I spent time with her for about two hours and helped her writing and speaking which was very basic. At this point, I am not sure I can keep helping her English.
While I was there with her, I got a call from Emily. She wanted to had dinner with me and others. She and Andre are leaving here on Wednesday. I will talk about them later. They are very interesting guys I met here. Anyway, I wanted to buy something for them, so I went to the bookstore near Bay&Bloor and bought one book which I read all. I found it very useful for Emily because she wants to learn Korean. The book is about effective and practical theories to learn foreign language. I hope she enjoys reading that book.
I met them in one of restaurant near Bathurst subway station. Emily, Andre, Nenry and I have nice dinner there and moved to Emily's place which is sold a month ago. So, there are not many things left there, it's almost empty place. Two more friends came over there and we had snack and talked till 12 when one of us told us, she was very tired. I said to them 'See you in Korea' because some day not too long from now, I will leave here too and can see them in Korea. I was a bit sad but not as sad as when I sent off other friends who I can't see them any more.

It was a long day. I was able to fall asleep without any difficulty to sleep

What language should I speak?

I'm kind of in a pensive mood since yesterday.
I do a language exchange every Wednesday, so we gathered yesterday as usual.
Since it has been chilly, some wanted to have a lesson inside rather than at the park where we usually do. The confusion had started. We tried the community center near Christie subway station and were told that we were not supposed to have a lesson there. One member offered one restaurant which is less busy that time of day. We walked there rather long time but there wasn't enough space for us. We tried one of bars near there afterward and asked the owner to keep the music down, but he told us that he didn't want to do it because he wants to keep their atmosphere as usual. After wandering for 30 mins, two people took off. We decided to just have dinner and talk about the place for the next time. We got two new people but they were headed home after short staying at the restaurant. I felt sorry for them. Anyway, I wasn't in a good mood but practically as a leader of that meeting, I couldn't express my feeling directly. I hid my feeling and I was heading the place where one offered to check out for the next meeting. He is a Korean and wanted to speak English with me, so we were talking in English, then I got an unexpected call from my friend, who is a landed immigrant from Korea and I talk with him in Korean, actually he is the only person I speak Korean with. I had spoken in English all day long, so I started talking English with him simultaniously over the phone and a moment later, I realized we speak Korean each other but I though it wasn't a big deal speaking English even though he spoke to me in Korean. He wanted to hang out with us. So, I just wanted to let him know that I was with someone who is Korean but we had been speaking English and if we speak Korean, it might have been awkward. But on the way to the place we were going to meet, I talked to the guy that I and my friend talk in Korean, so if he wants to speak Korean, we should speak Korean.
As we got there, I got very angry and sarcastic reaction from my friend. He talked to me in Korean that he got pissed off because I kept speaking English during the call and he might have to speak English with us. He thought I intended to avoid him and that's why I spoke to him in English. I was just a bit disappointed about his reaction at first but tried to calm down myself and explained what we were talking about on the way there.
As an international student, we are here to learn a new language and trying to speak a target language as much as possible even with Korean speakers, Time is limited for us, I don't have many close korean friends here, anyway. Yesterday's is very rare occasion for me. However, for him, he is a landed immigrant, he's not serious about a language; he always speak Korean to us without any consideration which I found it a little annoying. He has a plenty of time to pick up a language unlike us. He may not notice about this and has a different standard of it.
Anyway, I hid my upset feeling and had chatting with them for two hours, trying to make it up. When I got home, I was so stressed out and depressed about what I experienced before. I have no idea how I can handle that situation. I guess it would be better to speak Korean with Koreans. I don't have many chance to hang out with them anyway.
Did I make a mistake or that is just the thing every student face with every day.
Spending time with Korean is the most challenging thing here which seems to sound
weird because I am Korean and like Korean.
It is time to throw my skates on and forget about it.

No title...

I haven't post any since the early August. I feel like I've got to write down something. August for me, it was uneventful month while others go somewhere out of city for vacation. However,there are something I can write down about. I have started doing two language exchanges, one of which is with one person, the other is the group of people through the website called 'Meetup'. It is very new for me. I am learning new language, so I know how hard it is. But I didn't know how hard it is to teach the language I speak. I had no chance to speak Korean before that because, firstly, I don't want to, secondly, I don't have to. Make sense? I'm here to explore new language and culture. What is the point I speak my first language in Canada as long as I can interact with people. Sometimes, I don't understand what my friends say but they are so nice enough to say that again and explain to me. Sometimes, I meet Korean, it is quite challenging not to speak Korean.
Anyway, I am teaching Korean, so I have to speak it sometimes which I found it not a big deal but difficult.

There is one more thing I can mention about. I've got back to work. My company, technically, I quit before I came back to Toronto, asked me a week ago. The boss and manager there are my old coworkers which got fired from the company which we worked for together for two and half years. They struggled for about one year and started new company. When I went back to Korean, their business was on the track. The day I visited, the boss asked me to work for him. I wanted to teach English at that time, despite my lack of confidence of teaching English. I said yes to him and I worked there for one year, accomplished nothing, hehe, until I got on the plane to Toronto again. The relationship between my boss and I is not the same as the relationship between a boss and an employee. We sometimes fought and argued about the project in the late night which I am still working on. You can not fight with your boss unless you are a friend with him.
We are so close to share our feelings and everything, we both have a hot temper but are warm-hearted person, maybe I'm not.
Anyway, We made a deal before I came here, I promised him that I work four hours a day from Sunday to Thursday. However, something happened to my company about two months ago. My company has online stock investment system which is quite different from others. However, the new stock system prevent my company to do it any more. The profit from the business model was not only only source of money but also cash-cow for my company. Since they lost it, they have been suffering from that change, it also caused me not to work. I did not work for the last two months because of that. There are some people out there who are optimistic and enthusiastic. My company has some like that people. For the last two months, my company has been trying to make new business models and waiting for the result now. One of my coworker who is in charge of what I do asked me to get back to work after finishing other projects, but he said that I am not going to get paid until the company makes profit. Since I got my new study permit which allows me to stay until this year, I am so relaxed and not doing anything special to write TOFEL test to take TESOL course. I felt like I needed some pressure to balance my life which is so relaxing. So, I'm working now. I feel like I am alive and do something for someone, hehe. That's a good feeling. Since I've begun working at mid-night, I get up late again. Sometimes, my skater friends ask me to skate somewhere on the weekend but the time they want to meet me is so early in the morning, I had to say that I could not make it. Once I really wanted to skate, so I stayed overnight after working and was able to meet them to skate in Hamilton. It was quite tiring, but it is always good to wake up early and do some skating.

I haven't decided when I take TOEFL test again and try to apply for the TESOL course in University Of Toronto. Everything is up in the air, but there is not much time left, I ought to decide sooner or later. Every time I am asked about my plan , I make an excuse like learning language is different from learning other subjects. It needs more time and efforts to put every pieces together I have learned. If I study TOEFL for 8 hours a day, I might be able to get high score in a couple of months and take the course but my point is even though I am able to get high score soon, if my English is not enough to understand and get as much as possible from the class, it is kind of waste of money. $15,000 is big money for me, so I am just waiting for the right time to go for it. I am unsure about it, though, but I am the only one who should decide everything I need to here which is sometimes so overwhelming to me. However, except that, I can not complain about my life here, it's once in a life time opportunity for me. Before I came to Canada, I was an ordinary person, doing the same thing everyday, get fed by salary every month, not passionated and enthusiastic about my work. But now, at least, I am doing what I should do for what I love to do in the future, which keeps me going to approach to my goal.

What a wonderful time in Toronto~

The race weekend.

During the long weekend I skated and raced on Sunday and Monday in a row.
Sunday one was a fun skating on Hamilton beach trail which is my favorite one to skate.There were less people than usual and we spent more time chatting than skating. It was fun, though. After skating Candy, Jacky and I went to Eric's place to do some dryland workout. Eric videotaped Candy and Jacky while they did dryland. I didn't do it, not keen on doing exercise in a warm condition. I did some slide board thing a while, though because we did it inside, kk. We cooled down a bit with drinks and snacks. We stayed at Eric's till 4.
The next day, today, I went to Mississuaga to race for 10k. I was the last one finished the race. I dropped out after one lap of 10 laps and skated by myself the rest of the race. Some skaters finished their race in Fitness category earlier today. So, there were only 11 skaters out there in elite category. It was good to be out and skated with my friends but I couldn't enjoy the race. No matter whether I finished the last or not. It is not a good feeling you found yourself so weak during a race. I think there is no point that I race competitively without training. I'd better prepare If I want to race and enjoy. I am not sure I should keep racing, though. I can just enjoy social skating like Friday night skating, Hamilton skating for fun. I am here to study and learn English, not racing seriously. On the other hand, skating is so fun and I get to see lots of skater friends and socializing with them by skating here. However, I found most skaters in the club enjoy races and go to many races taking place in States and Canada. Therefore, There are not many chances If I don't race except the regular practice every Tuesday and Thursday. That's why I sometimes get to race. It's such a dilemma. I guess I need to exercise more to hit two birds with one stone. Anyway, regardless of some disappointment about myself, the long weekend went rather quickly.

Back to Montreal...

I did Montreal 24 hours relay race 2 years ago. I was in the winning team in elite category. All I remember about that race was tough and tough. I was so weak at that time and the slowest skater in my team, it was so really hard race mentally and physically. This year I skated in the team which belongs to recreational category. Most of members are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s from TISC(Toronto Inline Skating Club). There wasn't much pressure to win and our team was supposed to support Eric's solo skating at some point which we did. Human being is very greedy sometimes. It was fun and enjoyable race but, on the other hand, I wanted to compete and push myself. All members weren't serious about winning and did what they could do, so I didn't feel like I was racing. Basically, I took it easy and sometimes I pushed myself to break my time. In general, I just enjoyed skating on the surprisingly smooth F1 track.

It rained and stopped on and on most of time on Saturday. Track was wet all night and I had to skate in the puring rain a couple of times. Skating in the rain itself isn't bad but we got completely soaked after skating in the rain and had to put on soaked skates again after a break. It isn't a good feeling at all.

Our team consisted of 8 members. Each skater skated one lap and took a little more than an hour break while other 7 skaters skated. We divided into two sub-groups to get some sleep at night. I was in the first shift. For some reasons, I did 2 laps of skating twice during the night shift. It was hard but okay. After finishing our shift till 2 am. I cleaned the bearings and got two hours of sleep. As soon as I opened my eyes, I looked up the sky. It was clear. Even though, I got exhausted, I was so happy about the weather because I didn't need to skate in the rain any more. Sunday skating went well till the last turn.


< approaching to the relay zone >

For some reasons, I was an anchor to finish the race. When I got the baton from Calra, it was at 12:42 pm. I was supposed to skate till 1 pm. My time for one lap was 9 minutes something, so I thought I needed to skate for just two laps. I slowed down at first because I had to do two laps. "Kevin, pick it up~". It was Nick, who I skated with at RSO #2, passing me. I knew it was his final lap, he was doing his best. Pace was a little tough but I followed him and we pulled each other. I think it was pretty fast lap for me, could be 8 minutes something. He exchanged with his teammate and I had to keep going.


< With Nick >

I tried to chase his teammate but I was already tired. So, I just let him go and skated by myself. When I approached to the finish line, I checked my watch. I slowed down and waited for 1 pm. I passed the finish line at 1:01. I thought I was done skating. "Kevin, one more lap", I heard Richard cheering me up. Oops, I had to do one more lap. I forgot my watch is 2 minutes faster than normal. I should not have skated with Nick. It was late to regret, so I got to skate 3 laps for the last turn. I was dying but it turned into an awesome experience.


< The last lap >

I broke the my personal time and got hi-five from many skaters when I finished the race. It was really really awesome. The skaters standed on the both sides of the track and gave hi-five to finishers. I was one of them having chearing and hi-five.

I didn't win anything at this race but was so happy about myself finishing the 24 hours relay race and closing the race with the awesome experience.
I am not sure I can do it again next year at this moment, but I am quite sure that it is so worth it to try.


< After the race with TISC Skaters >

Dim Sum twice in a row.

I remember the day Stephen took me to a Dim sum restaurant for the first time two years ago. I didn't even get the word 'Dim sum', so I asked him again and he explained it to me but I don't think I understood well at that time. However, now I know what it means because I had Dim sum twice in a row last Sunday and the next day, Monday. My friends, Nozomi and Nenry explained the meaning of it to me. If I got it right, 'Yum cha' is an actual term that literally means 'drinking tea'. Basically, you can have many small dishes in a small steamer bamboo basket or on a small plate with tea like Jasmine tea. You can get various dumplings, bans, rice, noodle, congee, deep fries and so on.

I went to Hamilton to skate on Sunday. It had been a week since I donated my skin to the track at RSO #2 race. I felt totally out of shape. We ended up skating a little earlier than usual due to rain. My friend, Carolyn caught rain on the way to the start line. She dyed her hair red the day before, so red thing came out and she got that on her skin suit. She wore her white skinsut for the first time. She worried out that red stain come out easily. I saw her wearing the same one last night's practice. I didn't see any red stain on it.
Anyway, we headed to the Dim Sum restaurant in Mississauga after skating. It is always good to have lunch with friends after Hamilton skating. We were a little hungry and happy about the fact that we were out early in the morning and skated. Chatting was the most fun part of it.



We ate tons of dumplings and many different dishes. It was so fun to have many dishes at once. Carolyn got the wet bearings, so Ed and I went to her place afterwards to help her clean them and Ed and I went to the SilverCity near Yonge & Eglinton and saw Micheal Moore's new movie, Sicko, which I really enjoyed. We ended up having a hamburger with Ed at his favorite hamburger place. I love the humburger there. Meat is really juicy and thick. Ed has a card which he can get one free hamburger with, so he got me a free hamburger. I bought him ice cream instead for a desert.

The next day, I got a call from Nozomi and heard ISM friends were going to have Dim sum lunch. I decided to join them. When I saw Nozomi at Finch subway station, she had a card with her for Junwoo. I realized that lunch thing was Junwoo's farewell lunch. There were ten of ISM friends there and we all enjoyed Dim sum. Later that night, I heard that Nozomi got a upset stomach. Maybe she didn't enjoy as much as we did. Even though I had Dim sum in a row, it didn't matter to me because it's not important what to eat but it's important and good to have friends you can enjoy a meal with.

"See you Junwoo in Korea, stay in touch with me".
That was what I wrote on the card for Junwoo.


< Junwoo in pink >

Race weekend and teaching Korean.

Another crash last Saturday during the 500m sprint and got a big scrape and burn on my arm. It was my first race since I came back. I found myself not good at races and need to do more races If I want to perform better. However, that's not what I am here for. I have something else I have to focus on.


< the crash in the 500m sprint - photo by Eric Gee >

Anyway, I got some very good pictures of me during the races. Thanks Peter and Eric.


< 10k - photo by Eric Gee >

< 10k finish - photo by Peter Doucet >

The next day, I did a 42k marathon. I took it easy and finished without a crash. hehe. There were some crashed, though.


< After the marathon >

Recently I have taken over language exchange meeting from Youngin whom I met at ISM. He is going back to Korean, soon. Therefore, he can't continue that meeting. He asked me to take over. I said yes. Today was the first meeting which I was in charge to teach. Less people showed up because we couldn't find any places where to meet. At the very last minute, Dan suggested us meet at his place. Even though there were less people than usual, I really enjoyed teaching Korean language and culture. I have also started language exchange with Hilary. One of members I met at Yougin's meeting, Steve, introduced me to her. I met her last Tuesday. She is around my age and I found her very nice person. we sat down at a coffeehouse and started talking about ourselves first and we then started our first Korean lesson. I had never taught Korean before, so I found it very tough and felt that I need to know how to teach but I had fun while teaching.

I think teaching might be the thing I really want to do, at least I can enjoy. I couldn't enjoy working as a computer programmer. Sometimes, I felt a little joy after solving harsh problems but It didn't mean I loved that job.
Life is once and too short to do what you don't like. I will keep looking what I want to do to pursue my happiness.
By the way, Am I happy now? Sure, I am. kk